i've been

tearing myself up for days on end
and i finally brought myself to tell you
and i've faced my greatest fear,
only to find out that it's not as much of an accomplishment
as i thought it may be.
now i'm lying on my back
watching the ceiling fan spin and tell me to wake
up
before this passes by and i swear sweet words
under my breath hoping
that they'll catch your ear
and you'll be in love with
me the way
that i'm in love with you.
and the way you smile
and the way you laugh
and the way that i can't say what i want when i'm around you.
and i'm sorry if i ruined your day
but i couldn't help myself,
remember dear,
i'm nothing but an animal,
a red breasted bird
boasting about my great self
and you
you.
you.
and i'm lost again
in an overwhelming sea of self-loathing
and self pity
self-awareness
and selfishness.
and all i want is for you to be able to finish all my sentences.