i've eaten every meal this week by myself.
ive walked to every class by myself.
i sat at my desk at work doing nothing by myself for four hours.
i've been sitting in my room doing homework for two hours by myself.
monday i went to a show, by myself.
does anyone notice a pattern here?
i'm used to being a solitary creature,
i'm okay with it. i really am.
but there comes a point where you need interaction.
i can't keep doing this.
i can't help but think that this is a mistake.
i'm not supposed to be this lonely guy who sits in his room on his computer with his headphones on all day.
with the exception of my roommates, i don't know the names of anyone on my floor.
everything i'm doing seems pointless.
my homework, my classes, writing this.
i need a break and i'm less than three weeks into the quarter. does anyone else smell a pile of bullshit?
don't get me wrong... i'm not upset that i'm not friends with the people on my floor, those of you closest to me know that i ultimately want nothing to do with them... it would just be nice to find at least one person that i have something in common with.
maybe that's too much to ask.
but i'm going to ask for one more thing, if that person ever does show up... please let her be a girl.
everyone told me that yakima was a dry well as far as girls go... and i agree. they also said that i might
find someone once i moved to seattle. i haven't talked to a girl who's voice didn't annoy the piss out of me
since i've been here. i know i'm being impatient... but no, fuck it. im not being impatient. i've waited three fucking years and i'm fucking sick of it. and i'm sick of feeling like this.
i'm sick of not being able to let go.
i'm sick of this fucking stomach ache.
i'm sick of my fucking roommate listening to dave matthews so loud that i can't here my music through my headphones.
i'm sick of being miserable.
i'm sick of not seeing my friends.
i'm sick of being alone.
i'm sick of this.
and i'm fucking sick of you.
listen to faithhealer.
they are fucking phenomenal.
i'm sorry, i forgot i'm supposed to be happy all the fucking time,
i'll get it back don't worry.
todays just been a terribly boring day and i've had to much time to think.
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2 comments:
cheer up. try these out...
prideswallower
pw: skreamyourlungsout.blogspot.com
moutheater
goddammit i fucking love you!
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