there were

three messages on the other end,
and i heard your voice,
and you said that i was in the perfect time at the perfect place,
and that i was writing for someone.
and you were right,
and you put that thought in my head,
and i've been writing for you.
i promise.
and i miss your kind words.
and i miss our tears,
and you said that i was like the sad singers,
that make everyone cry their eyes out,
that's not what i want.
i want joy
and i want love,
and i want peace,
sometimes these are
just hard to find.
i want her.
and i want you.
and i want everyone,
sometimes these things,
just don't want you.
ive been cutting my toenails with 8 inch scissors and
my hair has been falling out forming the prettiest designs on the bathroom floor.
i've been looking in circles until my eyes are dizzy
and it's a beautiful day
let's go outside and make angels in the lawn until the first snow comes.
and let's sit in silence until the right words come again.
and we find god
and there's a decision to make between believing everything and believing nothing.
it's a cagematch of sorts,
and please, please, please
believe everything
believe in everything.
believe in me like i believe in you.